Spring

Yesterday I wandered around Redwood City all day with a gentleman friend of mine. It was so lovely to spend so much time outdoors after so many months of hiding under awnings and dashing around in the rain. Flip flops are not the best shoes for walking all over town in but, it felt good to have my toes exposed to the warm heat of the sun.
We walked to the thrift store and rummaged around in the treasures of other people's forgotten junk. I wondered about whether I really needed any more stuff to weigh me down. I've become really good at talking myself out of buying things especially clothes. It must serve a purpose or it's dead weight.
After the hobo-depot*, we ended up checking out some graffiti under the 101 and wandering around in what was some makeshift lodgings for the homeless of Redwood City. I found myself choosing my steps very carefully as I had,  as I mentioned before, chosen to warm my toes in the skimpy protection of sandals. Among the wreckage of the sleeping rough, we found a upside down table and a sign that said "State Property" "no lodging". I wondered to myself if the State actually expected anyone to obey this sign. As if desperate people, citizens of the world if not this country, who were in such a place in their lives that they would consider sleeping under the freeway, were to be expected to somehow respect this request. If these lost persons (persons in the legal sense) weren't the casualties of war or lack of social funding for state mental institutions they were most likely lost to the recession. The economy in shambles, people losing their jobs and their homes due to our society's greed and want of cheap goods have left so many people with out jobs and in the shadows.. what to do? Let's criminalize poverty! That's seems to be the end all solution to all of our problems isn't it? And look how wonderfully it's worked in the war on drugs. Let's criminalize everything and send everyone to prison. That will make for a nice happy society where justice prevails.


*not my word.

Lately

When I first set this blog up I thought I'd really be good at posting everyday and that it'd keep me writing/creating daily and sharing it with others. This has been a tough hurdle for me to overcome and as you can tell by my scarce posting, I have yet to cross that bridge.

Time for tea.

speechless

 To be honest I've been somewhat speechless since Friday. I don't .. I will get back when I have wrapped my brain around this.

sometimes

Sometimes I can't think of anything to say so I just don't say anything at all.
Makes me kind of laugh because I've always been known as a chatty person. People even scoff when they hear me say that I am shy. I'm supposed to be this clown or some kind of jerk that never is meant to be taken seriously. Part of that is my fault. I tend to use humor as a defense mechanism.
I like to isolate. I hide from people even in plain sight. I have my social butterfly persona which allows me to meet and interact with people on a very base level. This is not always apparent to other people as they tend to think that because I am so social I must be this confident outgoing person. In some ways I am but, when you really look at it .. I'm sort of a mime. A mime that talks. Not some sad clown or anything but, I go through the motions and I don't fake interest in other people. No. It's not that. I am interested in you but, in all honesty I am terrified of you knowing who I am.