Yesterday I wandered around Redwood City all day with a gentleman friend of mine. It was so lovely to spend so much time outdoors after so many months of hiding under awnings and dashing around in the rain. Flip flops are not the best shoes for walking all over town in but, it felt good to have my toes exposed to the warm heat of the sun.
We walked to the thrift store and rummaged around in the treasures of other people's forgotten junk. I wondered about whether I really needed any more stuff to weigh me down. I've become really good at talking myself out of buying things especially clothes. It must serve a purpose or it's dead weight.
After the hobo-depot*, we ended up checking out some graffiti under the 101 and wandering around in what was some makeshift lodgings for the homeless of Redwood City. I found myself choosing my steps very carefully as I had, as I mentioned before, chosen to warm my toes in the skimpy protection of sandals. Among the wreckage of the sleeping rough, we found a upside down table and a sign that said "State Property" "no lodging". I wondered to myself if the State actually expected anyone to obey this sign. As if desperate people, citizens of the world if not this country, who were in such a place in their lives that they would consider sleeping under the freeway, were to be expected to somehow respect this request. If these lost persons (persons in the legal sense) weren't the casualties of war or lack of social funding for state mental institutions they were most likely lost to the recession. The economy in shambles, people losing their jobs and their homes due to our society's greed and want of cheap goods have left so many people with out jobs and in the shadows.. what to do? Let's criminalize poverty! That's seems to be the end all solution to all of our problems isn't it? And look how wonderfully it's worked in the war on drugs. Let's criminalize everything and send everyone to prison. That will make for a nice happy society where justice prevails.
*not my word.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Lately
When I first set this blog up I thought I'd really be good at posting everyday and that it'd keep me writing/creating daily and sharing it with others. This has been a tough hurdle for me to overcome and as you can tell by my scarce posting, I have yet to cross that bridge.
Time for tea.
Time for tea.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
speechless
To be honest I've been somewhat speechless since Friday. I don't .. I will get back when I have wrapped my brain around this.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
sometimes
Sometimes I can't think of anything to say so I just don't say anything at all.
Makes me kind of laugh because I've always been known as a chatty person. People even scoff when they hear me say that I am shy. I'm supposed to be this clown or some kind of jerk that never is meant to be taken seriously. Part of that is my fault. I tend to use humor as a defense mechanism.
I like to isolate. I hide from people even in plain sight. I have my social butterfly persona which allows me to meet and interact with people on a very base level. This is not always apparent to other people as they tend to think that because I am so social I must be this confident outgoing person. In some ways I am but, when you really look at it .. I'm sort of a mime. A mime that talks. Not some sad clown or anything but, I go through the motions and I don't fake interest in other people. No. It's not that. I am interested in you but, in all honesty I am terrified of you knowing who I am.
Makes me kind of laugh because I've always been known as a chatty person. People even scoff when they hear me say that I am shy. I'm supposed to be this clown or some kind of jerk that never is meant to be taken seriously. Part of that is my fault. I tend to use humor as a defense mechanism.
I like to isolate. I hide from people even in plain sight. I have my social butterfly persona which allows me to meet and interact with people on a very base level. This is not always apparent to other people as they tend to think that because I am so social I must be this confident outgoing person. In some ways I am but, when you really look at it .. I'm sort of a mime. A mime that talks. Not some sad clown or anything but, I go through the motions and I don't fake interest in other people. No. It's not that. I am interested in you but, in all honesty I am terrified of you knowing who I am.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
flu shot
I got a flu shot last night and have felt like total crap ever since.
My head feels empty. Trying to get stuff done when I feel like this seems like an insurmountable task.
My head feels empty. Trying to get stuff done when I feel like this seems like an insurmountable task.
Friday, February 25, 2011
dream
Last night I had this very vivid dream that I had traveled to a distant galaxy. I met some interesting beings along the way. I even think Mr. Sulu made an appearance at one point. I don't recall being in an enclosed ship, I was just floating.
I looked down at my watch and realized it was getting close to what time I had to be at work. Somehow I was able to see Earth from where I was. I asked one of traveling companions how long it would take for me to get back to Earth on my own and he said "about 6 years".
Shit. I was screwed.
But, my new friend offered me a ride. In an instant I found myself stuck in traffic on 280 in San Jose. I needed to get to Menlo Park and fast.
I had traveled millions of light years in an instant only to be foiled by the morning commute.
I looked down at my watch and realized it was getting close to what time I had to be at work. Somehow I was able to see Earth from where I was. I asked one of traveling companions how long it would take for me to get back to Earth on my own and he said "about 6 years".
Shit. I was screwed.
But, my new friend offered me a ride. In an instant I found myself stuck in traffic on 280 in San Jose. I needed to get to Menlo Park and fast.
I had traveled millions of light years in an instant only to be foiled by the morning commute.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
sunburnt nipples*
What is it about female nipples that make them “obscene”? Objectively speaking how can anyone have a problem with nipples? I mean we all exist because of them and yet women are not allowed to bare them in public in this country.
While traveling through Corsica one summer with my boyfriend I decided to go topless on the beach. I was never a shy person, growing up I always ran around nude… of course, until my boobs started to sprout.
At 20 I was not much different. I always enjoyed skinny-dipping in the local lake, or at pool parties. But, it was different the first time I unhooked my top in public on a crowded beach on the Mediterranean.
I remember thinking, as I stood there alone “what’s the big deal? Guys get to and in America I can’t, so I better take advantage.”
So, I did. It snapped my top open and I threw it over my neck. There I stood half-naked on the beach. Part of me expected some sort of commotion, because I had been raised in the States. Of course nothing happened and I parked my contented self in a nice little spot on the warm sand.
My boyfriend arrived shocked and declared “Ah oaui, t’es bonne comme ca!” in his Parisian vernacular. It was kind of laughable. I mean I must have been the only woman on the beach with white boobs…
It felt so nice to be free and open and not worry about people thinking it was some kind of sexual thing. The water feels better, the sun feels better, the wind, the sand, everything. That day we sipped on wine and discussed a whole array of topics from American attitudes toward nudity, toward sex, toward violence.
I felt sort of proud and evolved. I soaked it all up as I lay there topless on my back. The sand was relaxing and the sound of waves entrancing.
Twenty minutes later I sat up and realized I had burned my nipples since they had never been exposed to sun for prolonged periods… AIE!
Or how we say in America, OUCH!
*this is a repost from my old blog
While traveling through Corsica one summer with my boyfriend I decided to go topless on the beach. I was never a shy person, growing up I always ran around nude… of course, until my boobs started to sprout.
At 20 I was not much different. I always enjoyed skinny-dipping in the local lake, or at pool parties. But, it was different the first time I unhooked my top in public on a crowded beach on the Mediterranean.
I remember thinking, as I stood there alone “what’s the big deal? Guys get to and in America I can’t, so I better take advantage.”
So, I did. It snapped my top open and I threw it over my neck. There I stood half-naked on the beach. Part of me expected some sort of commotion, because I had been raised in the States. Of course nothing happened and I parked my contented self in a nice little spot on the warm sand.
My boyfriend arrived shocked and declared “Ah oaui, t’es bonne comme ca!” in his Parisian vernacular. It was kind of laughable. I mean I must have been the only woman on the beach with white boobs…
It felt so nice to be free and open and not worry about people thinking it was some kind of sexual thing. The water feels better, the sun feels better, the wind, the sand, everything. That day we sipped on wine and discussed a whole array of topics from American attitudes toward nudity, toward sex, toward violence.
I felt sort of proud and evolved. I soaked it all up as I lay there topless on my back. The sand was relaxing and the sound of waves entrancing.
Twenty minutes later I sat up and realized I had burned my nipples since they had never been exposed to sun for prolonged periods… AIE!
Or how we say in America, OUCH!
*this is a repost from my old blog
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