sometimes

Sometimes I can't think of anything to say so I just don't say anything at all.
Makes me kind of laugh because I've always been known as a chatty person. People even scoff when they hear me say that I am shy. I'm supposed to be this clown or some kind of jerk that never is meant to be taken seriously. Part of that is my fault. I tend to use humor as a defense mechanism.
I like to isolate. I hide from people even in plain sight. I have my social butterfly persona which allows me to meet and interact with people on a very base level. This is not always apparent to other people as they tend to think that because I am so social I must be this confident outgoing person. In some ways I am but, when you really look at it .. I'm sort of a mime. A mime that talks. Not some sad clown or anything but, I go through the motions and I don't fake interest in other people. No. It's not that. I am interested in you but, in all honesty I am terrified of you knowing who I am.